May 2013
musicbeatstherapy:
jelee-:
rockpapertheodore:
tinyspacebabe:
ok let’s stop using the term “butthurt” we’re not 12 anymore
you sound fannytroubled
a little bootybothered if you ask me
someone’s having a little tushytantrum
4 tags
vvant:
srsly ever since i joined tumblr my grammar and spelling and puncuation is disappear
twistedviper:
whorusszahhak:
perfectionistdia:
whorusszahhak:
don’t ever take me on a date to an aquarium because i will ignore you and spend the whole time looking at the fish
But, if you think about it, that’s all the more reason to go. The person you’re dating gets to sit back and watch you smile and have fun. All the while, he/she’s falling deeper in love with you.
thatS REALLY...
kawaiians:
if i were a caterpillar i would probably emerge from my cocoon as another slightly fatter caterpillar
satans-fabulous-blog:
morphingly:
brightredkettle:
are you the SAT because i’d do you for 3 hours and 45 minutes
with a ten minute break halfway through for snacks
That’s the most reasonable pick up line I’ve ever heard. You’re hired.
Batman is actually a Disney princess. Pass it on.
bakerstreetsdoctor:
dark-forest-knight:
dirty-purple-suit:
“The LEAST you could do was find a decent picture … “
OH MY GOD
hitlervevo:
why the fuck cant we text the police
lets say there is a murderer in ur house and you’re hiding behind your sofa and you do have your phone with you but you can’t call the police because the murderer might hear you
lonelywhiteasian:
my dash is dead so i’m gonna liven it up with some fun, family-friendly text posts. let’s start this off, shall we? what’s brown and sticky?…. …. you guessed it…. … a stick! hahaha we’re all having fun here
internetfeet:
People mistake ovulation and menstruation to be the same thing when in fact they aren’t
Ovulation is when the eggs are saying “hello friends I am here”
And menstuation is when the eggs are saying “goodbye friends I am gone”
bangcaster:
you can still be thick and have a thigh gap
aboutexhaleprivilege:
gothicwoadie:
dietchola:
those black girls who wear 74027 things of jewelry so they sound like a walking maracca
ah yes, those black girls that do that. the girls that do that that are black. thank you for specifying the race of the girls that wear the jewelery. the black ones
Someone making a white girls joke:
Someone making a black girls joke:
an open letter to yahoo
aiclan:
fix the tumblr video player and you can buy any fucking website you like
repeating-serenity:
my little brother wrote about me for school and this was one of the sentences he wrote. im sobbing “my sister is my role model because she can watch 12 years worth of law and order in 3 months”
ambassador-of-anguish:
shouldertappingghosts:
If I was a famous author I would publish a book with ten different endings which all went to print with varying degrees of rarity, but not tell the fans about it so that I could watch their confusion as they disagree over how the story ended. Then when they figured it out I would ‘come clean’, telling them that I had released eleven alternate...
gargoylesarecool:
ectoghostologist:
i love being tight with teachers because you get to hear them talk shit about other teachers its so funny they all act like highschoolers except they get paid
They talk shit about other students if they like you enough too.
rneerkat:
darrynek:
rneerkat:
if somebody invented a shirt with a giant pocket in the front they would be millionaires because who wouldnt want to feel like a kangaroo
oh
hownowbrownseacow:
rosiebeck:
nxv:
primisthebomb:
I THREW A GRAPE IN THE AIR TO CATCH IT IN MY MOUTH BUT IT WENT TOO HIGH AND HIT THE CEILING AND THERE WAS A SPIDER THERE AND THE SPIDER FELL AND SO DID THE GRAPE AND THEY BOTH LANDED ON MY FACE AND I STILL HAVEN’T STOPPED SCREAMING
i read the first line in my head in the tune of call me maybe im so stupid
I threw a grape in the air I...
poutyowl:
i am perfectly fine with having other people sit on my lap but i can’t sit on other people’s laps because i’m always paranoid that i’d crush them and they’d diE
